


Missing: One Monkey

by evrybodysdarlin



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Humor, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 16:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1864971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evrybodysdarlin/pseuds/evrybodysdarlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oneshot kid fic. Who can stand up to Hannibal Chau and outsmart Newton Geiszler? Their daughter, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing: One Monkey

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from. I don't usually headcanon Newt and Hannibal as EVER having kids (except maybe in an A/B/O or other mpreg situation). But this idea popped into my head, I thought it was cute, and I wrote it out in a few minutes.

Newt Geiszler burst through the main entrance of the Kaiju Remedies building. “Attention, employees! Alice has _lost her monkey doll_! She's in the car crying because she can't find it! I repeat, lost monkey doll! Emergency! Please cease what you're doing and find the monkey now!”

Fang emerged from her office and walked quickly across the room, intercepting Newt.

“Fang!” he exclaimed. “Can you translate what I just said into Cantonese in case anyone didn't get it? I don't see people responding appropriately to this situation. They look like they're still just working.”

“Newton,” Fang said in obvious exasperation. “They're working because they have important things to do! We don't pay them to look for toys.”

“They work for _my_ life partner, so they should listen to me and help out when his daughter is in distress!”

“I'm pretty sure that none of them want to hear about Alice right now, Newton. With the way she was just behaving...”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Newt jutted his head forward defensively, and Fang covered her eyes with her hand, looking like she was getting a headache. 

Before Fang could respond, the front door swung open again, this time revealing Hannibal Chau. He was wearing one of his customary suits, and he was carrying Alice perched on his hip, easily supporting her with one arm. Her face was still a little wet with tears.

“Hannibal!” Newt called across the room. “Your employees are not looking for Mr. Monkey! They're totally ignoring me.”

Hannibal didn't reply. Instead, he strode up to Newt and Fang and carefully swung Alice down onto the ground. He knelt down in front of her, getting closer to her three-year-old height, even though he had to lean down even further to look her in the eyes.

“Now, listen, kid,” he began firmly. He had the same look on his face that he got when he negotiated with IRS agents or rival CEOs. “What did we say you're going to do now?”

Alice clenched her lips into a tight line and nodded her head, her eyes wide and serious. Quick as a flash, she turned away from Hannibal and ran over to Fang.

“Auntie Fang!” she began in her gravelly little voice. “I'm sorry that I screamed in your office!” Before Fang could respond, she ran over to the clear glass door leading to the main lab. She tried to pull it open, but it was too heavy, so Hannibal stepped over and pulled it open for her. As soon as the door was open wide enough, she stepped through and addressed the shocked scientists inside. “I'm sorry that I kicked your tables while you were doing science!” She dashed back out of the lab and ran over to one of Hannibal's bodyguards, who had been waiting by the main entrance quietly. “I'm sorry that I stomped on your big foot!” She ran back to Hannibal and stopped in front of him, panting a little from exertion. “Do I need to say sorry any more, Daddy?”

Hannibal gave her a half-smile. “You need to tell Papa you're sorry for not listening to him.”

She walked over to Newt and tried to grab hold of his pant leg, but her fingers slipped off because the denim was too tight. “I'm sorry, Papa,” she said quietly.

“Thank you, sweetie.” Newt stroked her messy black hair back from her face. 

The exasperation had faded from Fang's face after Alice's enthusiastic apologies. “Alice, I'll help you look for your monkey if you stay with me and hold my hand,” she offered. Alice happily took Fang's hand and followed her deeper into the building.

“What did you do to Alice?” Newt demanded as soon as Fang and Alice were out of earshot. “Did you spank her? I've never seen her act so...polite!”

“No, I didn't spank her, geez. We just had a little talk. I don't like how she's been acting lately. Makes us look weak in front of the workers if we get pushed around by a three-year-old.”

“Seriously, man. What did you say to her? Did you use mob negotiation tactics on our daughter?”

Hannibal laughed and pulled Newt into his arms, resting his chin on Newt's head. “Nope. I just told her that if she acted like that anymore, we'd take her chemistry set and never let her do experiments in the lab again.”

“Oh. That worked? She really is my kid.” Newt nestled into Hannibal's shoulder. 

“I may have also told her that toy monkeys disappear when little girls scream near them.”

“Okay, now that's just cruel. And scientifically inaccurate.”

“Relax, I didn't take the monkey. I think she dropped him when she was running through the accounting department. They'll find him any minute.”

“Do you think I'm too easy on her?” Newt asked plaintively.

“Yes. Definitely. She walks all over you.”

“Hey!” Newt pulled back from Hannibal's shoulder to look up at him, offended.

“Well, it's true. She's not a baby anymore. We need to teach her what's what, or she'll be a hellion.”

Newt sighed. “You're right. She's just so smart. And so cute! It's hard to tell her no.”

“I know it is, baby. How do you think she ended up with a real gold princess tiara?”

“Well, you can never resist gold stuff, anyway.”

“You got me. Wanna go to dinner? We can take Fang, try to make it up to her for Alice's tantrum in her office.”

“We better let Fang pick the restaurant. I think Alice broke her stapler.”

Hannibal shook his head in resignation. “I think she needs a big New Year's bonus this year.”

“Definitely.” Newt took Hannibal's hand and they strolled through the office.

Not a single employee had the nerve to tell Hannibal about the child-sized applesauce handprints that remained on the back of his suit jacket. He didn't need to know, anyway.


End file.
